Mutt
02-20-2006, 03:33 PM
by BC Guy, SFN News
It seemed like a good idea at the time……
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days. From The Darwin Awards - 2005 Winners (http://www.darwinawards.com/)
If there’s no anal what’s that big asshole doing on my screen?
A sex tape of musicians Kid Rock and Scott Stapp (former Creed front man and known prick – at – large) has surfaced. As much as I would like to tell you the tape is full of “Broke back Mountain” fun it evidently consists of Rock and Stapp getting blown by groupies backstage. Red Light District, the adult video company responsible for such recent hits as “Paris Hilton – fucked stupid” and “1 Night in China” [featuring she man Chyna] has the 45 minute tape and plans to release it on DVD. SFN News contacted several people for comment but could not find anyone who gives a shit. 45 second previews available at www.kidrocksextape.com and www.creedsextape.com.
[hr]
How to explain Dick to Kids
The kid’s version of the Washington Post (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/02/15/AR2006021502202.html) presented yet another version of the events in which the Vice President shot a contributor in the face and heart.
Imagine this: You're playing baseball with your brother when you accidentally hit him in the eye with the ball. You go inside, and the sitter gets ice for your brother's eye. Your mom is at work, but you don't call to tell her. Maybe that's because you are worried about your brother, or maybe you don't think it's a big deal, or maybe you know you might be in trouble, even though you didn't mean to hurt anyone.
If you can imagine that situation, you might be able to imagine the kind of week that Vice President Richard Cheney has had.
Makes sense to me I guess. Just substitute baseball for shotgun, birdshot for ball, the secret service and Cheney’s 40 person medical response team for the sitter, President Bush / America / The Police for Mom, old ass attorney for brother and you might start to get close. Journalist Alex Jones conducted a ballistics test / re-enactment of the events as described to the media and concluded the official story is “weak as Dick’s heart”. Video on iFilm (http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2699208)
It seemed like a good idea at the time……
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days. From The Darwin Awards - 2005 Winners (http://www.darwinawards.com/)
If there’s no anal what’s that big asshole doing on my screen?
A sex tape of musicians Kid Rock and Scott Stapp (former Creed front man and known prick – at – large) has surfaced. As much as I would like to tell you the tape is full of “Broke back Mountain” fun it evidently consists of Rock and Stapp getting blown by groupies backstage. Red Light District, the adult video company responsible for such recent hits as “Paris Hilton – fucked stupid” and “1 Night in China” [featuring she man Chyna] has the 45 minute tape and plans to release it on DVD. SFN News contacted several people for comment but could not find anyone who gives a shit. 45 second previews available at www.kidrocksextape.com and www.creedsextape.com.
[hr]
How to explain Dick to Kids
The kid’s version of the Washington Post (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/02/15/AR2006021502202.html) presented yet another version of the events in which the Vice President shot a contributor in the face and heart.
Imagine this: You're playing baseball with your brother when you accidentally hit him in the eye with the ball. You go inside, and the sitter gets ice for your brother's eye. Your mom is at work, but you don't call to tell her. Maybe that's because you are worried about your brother, or maybe you don't think it's a big deal, or maybe you know you might be in trouble, even though you didn't mean to hurt anyone.
If you can imagine that situation, you might be able to imagine the kind of week that Vice President Richard Cheney has had.
Makes sense to me I guess. Just substitute baseball for shotgun, birdshot for ball, the secret service and Cheney’s 40 person medical response team for the sitter, President Bush / America / The Police for Mom, old ass attorney for brother and you might start to get close. Journalist Alex Jones conducted a ballistics test / re-enactment of the events as described to the media and concluded the official story is “weak as Dick’s heart”. Video on iFilm (http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2699208)