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Conservapedia - Conservatives the Height of Unintentional Hilarity
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| Conservapedia - Conservatives the Height of Unintentional Hilarity
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| Hater |
In response to Wikipedia's alleged liberal bias, Conservatives have launched their own online encyclopedia...Conservapedia...I shit you not...
Unfortunately for conservatives, they aren't very sharp and have limited understanding of technology...as with the half hour news hour they are setting themselves up to get shit upon...already pranksters are wreaking havoc throught the right's newest propaganda attempt (although the fake tree octopus post is funny, the real people's post i've listed below are disturbing, if americans are truly this stupid we're all fucked!)...when it comes to technology, don't fuck with liberals...that's the lesson...here are two great examples of the hilarity that we will all get to share in in the coming months as conservapedia grows and grows...
1) This is from the Conservapedia entry on Bill Clinton, unfortunately you can't really control who edits these online encyclopedias...conservapedia is set to learn this the hard way - here is the sample:
"Bill Clinton managed to serve two terms without botching the prosecution of two wars, manipulating intelligence, engaging in a systematic program of torture, or mishandling the federal response to flooding of a major American city. Obviously, he is the devil incarnate."
2) There is also an interesting article on Conservapedia on the "tree octopus"..> I'm no zoologist but I'm fairly certain this creature does not exist except within the overactive daydreams of young children...seriously read this post if you had a shitty day...you'll feel much better:
http://www.conservapedia.com/Pacifi...rboreal_Octopus
It's great to see people already fucking with this site...soon they'll start censoring, then Conservapedia will be nothing more than another LGF or Newsmax and will kill it's original purpose of combating Wikipedia and it's goddamned homosexual anti-christian agenda...HA HA!
More examples for fun! enjoy! Keep in mind these posts are from real life conservatives who actually believe this shit...wow!
3) The Conservapedia's entry on Slavery focuses on the encouragement of the slave trade from 1455 to the 1800s by Africans themselves for profit.
4) The Stone age is the prehistoric time before the Age of Metal. It is divided into two parts; Paleolithic and Neolithic. During the Paleolithic age, man harvested wild plants and animals for food. Agriculture began in the Neolithic age. The dates of the Stone age are debated. Biased historians often give older dates than can be proven by archaeology. (http://www.conservapedia.com/Stone_age)
5) Here's a quote from the entry on The Bible - "Accordingly, it is impossible to be certain which books of the Bible are truly canonical. However, it is certain that those books that are canonical, whichever they may be, are Divinely inspired and infallible." :)
6) Kangaroo: "Like all modern animals, modern kangaroos originated in the Middle East and are the descendants of the two founding members of the modern kangaroo baramin that were taken aboard Noah's Ark prior to the Great Flood." (http://www.conservapedia.com/index....roo&oldid=14629)
7) Theory of Relativity: "Nothing useful has even been built based on the theory of relativity.…'All things are relative' became popular as atheists and others used relativity to attack Christian values. There remains enormous political support for the theory of relativity that has nothing to do with physics, and Congress continues to spend billions of dollars unsuccessfully searching for particles predicted by the theory of relativity."
8) Gospels: "The greatest writing in the history of the world is the Gospel of John....This single book has done more to shape human thought and behavior than any other work. Our uniquely American First Amendment right of free speech is based on ministers preaching of the 'Word' of God as described in the first few verses of the Gospel of John."
9) George Washington: "Washington is perhaps the person other than Jesus who declined enormous worldly power, in Washington's case by voluntarily stepping aside as the ruler of a prosperous nation."
10) Scopes Trial: "Hollywood has little regard for the truth. Its movie version Inherit the Wind changed everyone's name, thereby preventing libel suits, and changed the facts in order to ridicule religious belief. Thanks to Bryan's victory in the Scopes trial, Tennessee voters have been educated without oppressive evolution theory for 75 years. Free from the liberal indoctrination, Tennessee voted against native son Al Gore in the 2000 Presidential election - probably the only time a candidate has lost the Presidency due to losing his home state. If Tennessee had a high level of belief in evolution comparable to that of East Germany, then you can bet Gore would have won his state and the Presidency."
11) The Da Vinci Code: "Dan Brown is responsible for feeding millions of readers a pack of lies cleverly wrapped up as a historically accurate novel."
12) Holocaust: "The Holocaust was the massacring of the Jewish race during World War II. The Germans are not to blame for this but the Nazi are. Besides 6 million Jews dying, 3 million Christians were killed also along with many priests and nuns. This is a very touchy subject for the Jews and is not often discussed amongst them."
13) Communism: "Communists believe that if they share everything, no one will ever have to work."
I KID YOU NOT THIS SHIT IS REAL!!! AMERICA IS FUCKING CRAZY!!! I DONT' KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT THIS IS THE FINAL STRAW....I AM OFFICIALLY MOVING TO EUROPE ASAP...HOLY SHIT THESE PEOPLE ARE MENTALLY DAMAGED...HOME SCHOOLING IS CLEARLY CHILD ABUSE AND NEEDS TO STOP...FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCK! |
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| Stonewall |
| The problem with the Left and Democrats, and ever increasingly so-called Conservatives is the lack of any basis at all in the Constitution for the enormous power that both parties wish to heap upon the Federal Government. Power that when given will then be in the hands of the General Government and then weilded by the Political Parties. And, if the past is prelude then we are in for a heck of a ride in the future. The peoples rights will melt away. As they are now. |
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| Hater |
Quote: Originally posted by Stonewall
The problem with the Left and Democrats, and ever increasingly so-called Conservatives is the lack of any basis at all in the Constitution for the enormous power that both parties wish to heap upon the Federal Government. Power that when given will then be in the hands of the General Government and then weilded by the Political Parties. And, if the past is prelude then we are in for a heck of a ride in the future. The peoples rights will melt away. As they are now. |
yaaaawn...again i have no clue what the hell you're talking about...but you should go make some entries on Conservapedia...you'll fit right in...
stonewall did you enjoy my post showing how moronic you conservatives are? It's painful to read those Conservapedia posts...paaaainful! Ugh it hurts my soul...
In the future could please refrain from responding to my post unless it's pertinent...thanks..i appreciate it...your trolling is unwelcome... |
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| Ralphruinsthesh |
| "Let us cross over the river and whip the bad slaves over there. We'll cross back over and whip the good slaves over yonder"- I'm sure some "asshole" said something like that... 1800's |
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| Hater |
Quote: Originally posted by Ralphruinsthesh
"Let us cross over the river and whip the bad slaves over there. We'll cross back over and whip the good slaves over yonder"- I'm sure some "asshole" said something like that... 1800's |
haha...when i read those conservapedia entries i was shocked...i knew there were a lot of kool aid drinkers out there but this emphasis on the infallibility of the bible and hatred of science is going to end our run as the number one super power of the world...
again, homeschooling should be illegal or at the very least, home schooled children should be sterilized so as to not pass on the abusive practice...if you're parents teach you that physics is bullshit, you're in big trouble... |
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| Hater |
From the entry on Cole Porter:
"Because [Cole] Porter was a homosexual, we can conclude that [the title of his play]'anything goes' was also his philosophy of life. Many atheists have adopted the song as a description of their "moral" code."
:(
:( |
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| Ralphruinsthesh |
Natural seletion should have already bumped stonewall from the herd. He should praise his lord for medical science and technology. I'm sure polio could have been the demise of his Klan. I guess the liberal government managed to vaccinate even in appalachia. Trust me, inferior humans should embrace science.
And sorry for kicking sand in your face the last time you were at the beach. |
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| Hater |
I'm going to keep posting examples of this b/c I can't get enough...Conservapedia is great...it's incredible to me to see such unabased ignorance...
1) Newton: "Sir Isaac Newton was one of the inventors of calculus and the propsed the theory of gravity (It should be noted that gravity, like evolution, is just a theory and has never been proven to be true). He was a Devout Christian whose discoveries were inspired by God."
2) They also have a debate section on Conservapedia..here are some of the riveting topics:
-"Crusades... Good or Bad?"
-"Did Jefferson Copy the Declaration of Independence?"
-"Is it even possible to install democracy in a Muslim country?"
-"Was it wrong for him to allow the attack in order to wake up the American public and motivate Americans to fight and win the war?" which refers to Franklin Roosevelt and Pearl Harbor. |
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| Hater |
Quote: Originally posted by Ralphruinsthesh
Natural seletion should have already bumped stonewall from the herd. He should praise his lord for medical science and technology. I'm sure polio could have been the demise of his Klan. I guess the liberal government managed to vaccinate even in appalachia. Trust me, inferior humans should embrace science.
And sorry for kicking sand in your face the last time you were at the beach. |
sadly modern society has more or less rendered natural selection useless...morons are now free to multiply and spread inferior, McDonalds-laden genes as much as they please...
we're all going to be in trouble in 50 - 100 years...educated people tend to have less children because they understand the cost and amount of effort it takes to raise a child well while ignorant rednecks pump 'em out like they keep having them they might win something...
the meek will not inherit the earth, but the morons surely will....at least in America...the spread of idiocy seems to be less rampant in other countries... |
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| Ralphruinsthesh |
| Sounds like a good definition for Conservatism. |
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| ChaseDC |
Quote: Originally posted by Hater
again, homeschooling should be illegal or at the very least, home schooled children should be sterilized so as to not pass on the abusive practice...if you're parents teach you that physics is bullshit, you're in big trouble... |
Agreed 100%.
How is it that any schmoe who has children can teach his/her kids and the fucking kids can receive diplomas is an absolute travesty.
The whole purpose of home-schooling seems that you want your kids to grow up to be like you. have your same beliefs, morals, etc. pathetic. |
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| Hater |
| Man, seeing this level of purposeful ignorance is terrifying to me...truly scary shit...i'm not sure how we can solve this problem... |
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| Hater |
Quote: Originally posted by ChaseDC
Agreed 100%.
How is it that any schmoe who has children can teach his/her kids and the fucking kids can receive diplomas is an absolute travesty.
The whole purpose of home-schooling seems that you want your kids to grow up to be like you. have your same beliefs, morals, etc. pathetic. |
Conservapedia should be a wake up call to all those touting the virtues of home schooling...
you are 100% correct...homeschooling is an education in belief, not facts... |
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| Hater |
the fun continues - more conservapedia entries - let the truth be exposed:
1) George Orwell's 1984: "1984 was a book by George Orwell. 1984 describes an alternate history in which Oceania (Australia) is at war with Eurasia. It is a utopian book because it talks about a place where everyone is watched over by Big Brother, who makes sure people are doing what they are supposed to. The protagonist is Winston Smith. Thre is something about rats at the end, but it is confusing. The end is probably supposed to be ambigous."
2) Yahweh: "Yahweh means "I am who I am". In the Hebrew language, which has no vowels, it is written YHWH. During the encounter at the Burning Bush, God instructed Moses to use the name 'Yahweh' when speaking of Him. This occured in Exodus 3.14. " (* I'm no linguist but I'm fairly certain 'the Hebrew language' has vowels...haha)
3) Parasite: "A parasite is an organism that has become dependent on other life forms as a result of the fall. There were no such thing as parasites before the fall, it was only afterwards that they became numerous and now almost every non-parasitic animal on earth has parasites unique to them."
4) Freedom of the press: " Freedoms in the colonies varied widely also. In the colony of New York, for example, John Peter Zenger got in big trouble for publishing something critical of the governor. The New York governor demanded that Zenger be prosecuted and thrown in jail for criticizing him. Zenger was put on trial. On the first day of the trial, a good defense attorney from Philadelphia appeared to defend Zenger for free. The defense attorney argued to the jury that it should not be a crime to say something that is true, even though it may embarrass the governor. The judge told the jury that the law says that can be a crime called “libel”. But the jury ignored the law and held in favor of Zenger: “not guilty.” This case established the very important right unique to America: the right of freedom of the press. To this day we have that right in America, but those in England do not have this right. " |
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| Hater |
- Mesopotamia: "Using the ages mentioned in the Bible and counting backwards, biblical scholars have dated this as about 6000 years ago, or about 4000 B.C. This is about 500 years before our earliest record of ancient writings."
- Canada: "Canada is the second largest country in the world for it's considerable amount of land. It was named Canada because when an explorer came to a Canadian Indian village he asked what this place was called, and they told him "Kanada", which means village in their Indian language. It borders the United States, and most of it's population is in The more southern provinces of Canada "
- Germany: "A country in central Europe that was blamed for both Wolrd Wars and claimed to be the dominate race of mankind."
- France: "A country in Europe. Thrived during the middle ages. The capitol is Paris, France, which was founded in the Middle Ages."
- Abortion & Breast Cancer: "The majority of scientific studies have shown that abortion causes an increase in breast cancer, including 16 out of 17 statistically significant studies.[3] However, like the tobacco industry in the 1950s, the abortion industry has so far kept this important information away from much of the public. This may be due to the controversy around this finding, which suggests that data linking abortion to increased breast cancer risk is not yet conclusive.[4] Some of the reasons for the difficulty in verifying these studies include:
The number of cases observed; a very small number may not be reflective of the general population)
The type of abortion: induced versus spontaneous (also called miscarriages)
Accounting for other lifestyle or genetic factors that may influence breast cancer risk
The amount of time between abortion and breast cancer occurrence
Data limitations due to the changing legal status of abortion (for example, an American woman's abortion history may not have been reported before 1973, when the Supreme Court legalized abortion). "
- Plesiosaur: "In 1977, while serving as Captain on board the fishing vessel Zuiyo-maru, Kent Hovind discovered the decomposing carcass of a Plesiosaur. This was a triumphant find for the Creation-Science movement, since it unequivocally established that dinosaurs had died in the Biblical Flood, rather than being killed by a meteor, as postulated by Charles Darwin.
If a meteor had killed the dinosaurs as Charles Darwin suggested, then the plesiosaurs would have died out as well. But, because a plesiosaur was found in the oceans near Japan, the only viable alternative is that the Biblical account of the Genesis flood was true, and that (on account of Noah's human fallibility) many land based dinosaurs died while the plesiosaur lived on. This also means that the rocks of the late cretaceous period (dated to 65 million years ago by Darwinist geologists) couldn't be more than a few thousand years old.
Captain Hovind sailed back to Pensacola at full steam with his triumphant find, fully expecting a Nobel Prize and widespread acclaim for his once-in-a-lifetime discovery. Unfortunately, secularist scientists performed comparisons of the carcass amino acid profile to the amino acid profile of a basking shark, and attempted to smear Hovind's find by using the fact that the two were identical. The comparison of amino acids is by no means conclusive however, since plesiosaurs and sharks both live in water, and we should expect them to have identical amino acid profiles. Furthermore, it may also be possible that the plesiosaur and basking shark are not actually distinct species, but that the plesiosaur is just a basking shark observed in a particular life stage.
While it would be instructive to study the carcass further, the Secular Humanists at the Internal Revenue Service confiscated the remains during the arrest of Dr. Hovind, presumably to prevent further investigation in the name of creationism. " WOW :) |
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| ChaseDC |
More proof that the stupid shouldn't be able to reproduce.
It's amazing the level of ignoance in this country. |
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| Hater |
- Shia: "A denomination of the Islamic faith; some followers are more active and violent than other Muslims."
- Amazing Grace: "Amazing Grace is the most popular song in the world. It expresses the pure joy and gratitude that results from the Christian faith."
- Democrat: "According to leading conservative thinkers, no good Christian would ever be a Democrat. (Reference BADLY needed)"
The official platform of the Democratic party claims to involve strengthening America.[1] However, the Democrat voting record reveals a true agenda of cowering to terrorism[2], treasonous anti-Americanism[3], and comtempt for America's founding principles such as freedom of religion[4]."
HAHAHHAHAHA |
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| Hater |
Quote: Originally posted by ChaseDC
More proof that the stupid shouldn't be able to reproduce.
It's amazing the level of ignoance in this country. |
now think of how many people believe this crap...it keeps me up at night...how can we allow our fellow citizens to become so ignorant? Is there anything we can do?
My feeling is that hatred of science will just lead to higher concentrations of stupidity...my only hope is that red staters will become so stupid that we can subjegate them as an inferior group and use them to do undesirable jobs... |
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| ChaseDC |
Quote: Originally posted by Hater
now think of how many people believe this crap...it keeps me up at night...how can we allow our fellow citizens to become so ignorant? Is there anything we can do?
My feeling is that hatred of science will just lead to higher concentrations of stupidity...my only hope is that red staters will become so stupid that we can subjegate them as an inferior group and use them to do undesirable jobs... |
I don't know if there is. Aside from locking up the ignorant parents who want to home-school their kids.
That's why they hate science. They wallow in their stupidity and love it. |
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| Hater |
- Quantum Mechanics: "Quantum mechanics forms the basis for all computers and electronic devices today. Unfortunately, the idea of non-determinstic physics runs contrary to the Biblical worldview of an omnipotent diety. Thus, quantum mechanics remains a flawed, ultimately incorrect theory."
- Albert Einstein: "[Relativity] theory rejects Newton’s view of gravitation and replaces it with a concept that there is a continuum of space and time, and that large masses (like the sun) bend space in a manner similar to a finger depressing an area of a balloon. From this proposed bending of space the expression arose that "space is curved." But experiments later proved that space is overall flat after all."
- Ben Franklin: "Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) was one of the Founding Fathers, he was ambassador to France, and also he is on the $100 dollar bill. Benjamin Franklin was a prolific inventor, he invented the Franklin Stove and the bifocal and also proved the existence of electricity with an experiment involving a key attached to the tail of a kite being flown in a lightning storm. Benjamin Franklin was truly a great American." |
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| Hater |
Quote: Originally posted by ChaseDC
I don't know if there is. Aside from locking up the ignorant parents who want to home-school their kids.
That's why they hate science. They wallow in their stupidity and love it. |
ah well...not much we can do...great avatar by the way...
it's truly mind-boggling...i hate to say it but this forced ignorance seems to be nothing more than a contrary response to perceived liberal agendas...it's an us vs. them battle, except one side has facts and one side has nonsense...it's rugged...
they'd rather fight liberals than search for the truth...in politics or science or education... |
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| cecilturtle06 |
:be:
1. Say "Conservapedia".
2. Insert a Jackie Martling or Gilbert Gottfried laugh clip here.
Hoofah. |
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| Hater |
Quote: Originally posted by cecilturtle06
:be:
1. Say "Conservapedia".
2. Insert a Jackie Martling or Gilbert Gottfried laugh clip here.
Hoofah. |
:D gotta love that gottfried laugh clip...i think they should use it on all foxnews shows... |
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