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Five Rules For Men To Follow To Achieve A Happier Life:
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| Five Rules For Men To Follow To Achieve A Happier Life:
- Click HERE to go to the original thread with graphics
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| RoadBoy |
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO ACHIEVE A HAPPIER LIFE:
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to
time, helps clean up the place and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to
you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to make
her man happy.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each
other!!!!!! |
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| mcbutton1970 |
Rule #1: The woman is ALWAYS right.
Rule #2: The woman makes the rules.
Rule #3: If you have a problem with these rules, please refer back to Rule #1.
My wife has allowed me to say that I am the boss of this house ... did I say that right, honey? Anyway, she wears the pants in this family because I prefer to wear shorts. |
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| BubbaFanInKY |
| I like the rules. Mcbutton is totally correct, always rfer to rule #1. |
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| mcbutton1970 |
Quote: Originally posted by BubbaFanInKY
I like the rules. Mcbutton is totally correct, always rfer to rule #1. |
I'll throw one more atcha ...
Modern science has been working hard for years trying to invent something that could do the work of ten men. After much work and laboring, it was discovered that it had already been created: ONE woman. |
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| fullthrottle |
Here are some more rules to go over with your girlfriend or wife, if they are on board with these rules then you will be an extremely happy man :D :
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
2. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
7. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand and don't assume our forgeting one is failing some sort of love-test.
8. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
9. Men believe that yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
10. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
11. If you won't dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
12. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us and force us to lie for reasons of self protection.
13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
14. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic. (It doesn't mean we don't love you anymore. We're hard-wired to ogle.)
15. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
16. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
17. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
18. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.
19. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
20. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
21. We are not mind readers and never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
22. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but figure you really want to punish us with your inscrutability.
23. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
24. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
25. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss the shotgun formation or monster trucks.
26. You have enough clothes.
27. You have too many shoes.
28. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)
29. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape. |
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| sin4fun |
Here's my rule-
1. Beer makes you fat. Fat beer bellys are unattractive.
2. The clothes you wore five years ago were cool 10 years ago, why are you still wearing them?
3. The gym is to lose weight- losing weight means doing more than just bench pressing
4. You drive the family vehicle- I'll drive the cute sporty car, after all a hot wife is your ego boost
5. Making less than 100k a year was okay when you were single- if you want me to have kids and then lose the baby weight- you better be banking over 6 figures.
http://img163.imagevenue.com/loc156/th_23223_uwantthis_122_156lo.jpg
I'll need a credit card to continue telling you fat loser men what we hot chicks really want |
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| Artie's needle |
Quote: Originally posted by mcbutton1970
Rule #1: The woman is ALWAYS right.
Rule #2: The woman makes the rules.
Rule #3: If you have a problem with these rules, please refer back to Rule #1.
My wife has allowed me to say that I am the boss of this house ... did I say that right, honey? Anyway, she wears the pants in this family because I prefer to wear shorts. |
My wife lets me wear the pants in the family,as soon as I get the laundry done! :D |
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| mcbutton1970 |
Quote: Originally posted by sin4fun
Here's my rule-
1. Beer makes you fat. Fat beer bellys are unattractive.
2. The clothes you wore five years ago were cool 10 years ago, why are you still wearing them?
3. The gym is to lose weight- losing weight means doing more than just bench pressing
4. You drive the family vehicle- I'll drive the cute sporty car, after all a hot wife is your ego boost
5. Making less than 100k a year was okay when you were single- if you want me to have kids and then lose the baby weight- you better be banking over 6 figures. |
Nice to have a female offer up her spin on things.
:bigup: |
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| catdr9155 |
Quote: Originally posted by sin4fun
Here's my rule-
1. Beer makes you fat. Fat beer bellys are unattractive.
2. The clothes you wore five years ago were cool 10 years ago, why are you still wearing them?
3. The gym is to lose weight- losing weight means doing more than just bench pressing
4. You drive the family vehicle- I'll drive the cute sporty car, after all a hot wife is your ego boost
5. Making less than 100k a year was okay when you were single- if you want me to have kids and then lose the baby weight- you better be banking over 6 figures.
http://img163.imagevenue.com/loc156...s_122_156lo.jpg
I'll need a credit card to continue telling you fat loser men what we hot chicks really want |
Continue on :D |
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| sin4fun |
Quote: Originally posted by Arties needle
My wife lets me wear the pants in the family,as soon as I get the laundry done! :D |
And those Tough Skins better fit around that belly of yours-
A mans waist should not exceed 36"- regardless of how tall you are. If you are less than 6'4" your waist should not exceed 32". If it does, your fat! |
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| mcbutton1970 |
Quote: Originally posted by sin4fun
And those Tough Skins better fit around that belly of yours-
A mans waist should not exceed 36"- regardless of how tall you are. If you are less than 6'4" your waist should not exceed 32". If it does, your fat! |
Unfortunately, my pant size is 38-34. I know I'm fat (245 pounds in a 5'10" frame with some muscle but a fat stomach from too many visit to the buffet -- no beer), but my wife is happy (gives her a soft pillow to snuggle up to at night when I'm not out doing the FTE thing). |
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| sin4fun |
Quote: Originally posted by mcbutton1970
Unfortunately, my pant size is 38-34. I know I'm fat (245 pounds in a 5'10" frame with some muscle but a fat stomach from too many visit to the buffet -- no beer), but my wife is happy (gives her a soft pillow to snuggle up to at night when I'm not out doing the FTE thing). |
Okay MC-
Hmmm. You're 245 pounds at 5'10. Did you watch the fights last night? I did, I love the fights, such a turn on- but that is a different topic all together. At your height, you should be like, around 185 pounds. Your wife has more than a pillow to snuggle up to- she's got a queen sized fucking pillow- here's a fact (at least Christy Canyon said so) for every 20 pounds over weight you are, your dick appears to be 1" smaller- visually, from all of the fat swallowing it.
You're 60 pounds over weight and your cock appears to be at least 3" smaller than it would be if you lost the weight. Do yourself and your wife a favorand lose the weight and give her 3" more cock to snuggle up to. I Know that is what I would prefer.
Fat ass. |
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| mcbutton1970 |
Quote: Originally posted by sin4fun
Okay MC-
Hmmm. You're 245 pounds at 5'10. Did you watch the fights last night? I did, I love the fights, such a turn on- but that is a different topic all together. At your height, you should be like, around 185 pounds. Your wife has more than a pillow to snuggle up to- she's got a queen sized fucking pillow- here's a fact (at least Christy Canyon said so) for every 20 pounds over weight you are, your dick appears to be 1" smaller- visually, from all of the fat swallowing it.
You're 60 pounds over weight and your cock appears to be at least 3" smaller than it would be if you lost the weight. Do yourself and your wife a favorand lose the weight and give her 3" more cock to snuggle up to. I Know that is what I would prefer.
Fat ass. |
For what it's worth, I look anorexic at 185 pounds. The kind of sedetary lifestyle I lead (FTE), believe me when I tell you that it's rather difficult to lose weight. Thankfully the fat has stayed above the waist and that I have some muscularity (broad-shouldered and thick legs). There was a health fair that I attended while I was in college, and they told me the same thing -- my ideal weight is 185. Problem is, they don't take muscle mass into consideration. Most of your NFL running backs would be considered overweight by those standards. Truthfully, 205-210 would be ideal for my frame (I have spoken with two physical trainers about that, so I'm not totally talking out of my ass).
I was not able to watch the fights last night, but I was able to follow along online. We have our PPV blocked on the satellite to keep my father-in-law from rampant movie ordering. |
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| sin4fun |
Quote: Originally posted by mcbutton1970
For what it's worth, I look anorexic at 185 pounds. The kind of sedetary lifestyle I lead (FTE), believe me when I tell you that it's rather difficult to lose weight. Thankfully the fat has stayed above the waist and that I have some muscularity (broad-shouldered and thick legs). There was a health fair that I attended while I was in college, and they told me the same thing -- my ideal weight is 185. Problem is, they don't take muscle mass into consideration. Most of your NFL running backs would be considered overweight by those standards. Truthfully, 205-210 would be ideal for my frame (I have spoken with two physical trainers about that, so I'm not totally talking out of my ass).
I was not able to watch the fights last night, but I was able to follow along online. We have our PPV blocked on the satellite to keep my father-in-law from rampant movie ordering. |
But you're 245- so by your own admission, you are at least 40 pounds over weight-
And you're no running back or line backer- besides, did you ever stop and look at the jiggly belly of most line men? uuuggg aweful.
So, for what it is worth, make your cock grow by losing weight. That'd be enough |
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| JeremyPGH |
Quote: Originally posted by sin4fun
Here's my rule-
1. Beer makes you fat. Fat beer bellys are unattractive.
2. The clothes you wore five years ago were cool 10 years ago, why are you still wearing them?
3. The gym is to lose weight- losing weight means doing more than just bench pressing
4. You drive the family vehicle- I'll drive the cute sporty car, after all a hot wife is your ego boost
5. Making less than 100k a year was okay when you were single- if you want me to have kids and then lose the baby weight- you better be banking over 6 figures.
http://img163.imagevenue.com/loc156...s_122_156lo.jpg
I'll need a credit card to continue telling you fat loser men what we hot chicks really want |
Sin4Fun,
I'd like to nominate you as one of the hottest girl of the Darkside... Wow. |
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| RoadBoy |
| Hehe glad to see i stirred something up |
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| mcbutton1970 |
Quote: Originally posted by sin4fun
But you're 245- so by your own admission, you are at least 40 pounds over weight-
And you're no running back or line backer- besides, did you ever stop and look at the jiggly belly of most line men? uuuggg aweful.
So, for what it is worth, make your cock grow by losing weight. That'd be enough |
At least I can say I have one ... I dread to hear what you really have ... :D
For those that think I'm bashing a female, I'm not.
And just so you know, I can already hit the top of my wife's vaginal cavity rather easily -- anything more than that, I'll absolutely wreck her (she wears petite sizes, if that gives you any idea). |
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| BTLS_LoneWolf |
Quote: Originally posted by mcbutton1970
At least I can say I have one ... I DREAD to hear what you really have ... :D
For those that think I'm bashing a female, I'm not.
And just so you know, I can already hit the top of my wife's vaginal cavity rather easily -- anything more than that, I'll absolutely wreck her (she wears petite sizes, if that gives you any idea). |
WTF have I just enetered into?
All male suck up party?
WOW mcbutton - top of vaginal cavity you say.
nice job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Casual |
1. Quit smoking
2. Lose some weight
3. See your doctor regularly
4. Take some Cialis
5. Take some Viagra |
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| RoadBoy |
Quote: Originally posted by Casual
1. Quit smoking
2. Lose some weight
3. See your doctor regularly
4. Take some Cialis
5. Take some Viagra |
I observe 4 of those rules |
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| mcbutton1970 |
Quote: Originally posted by RoadBoy
I observe 4 of those rules |
I'm only 1 for 5 -- I've never smoked.
It's hard for me to lose weight with the sedetary lifestyle I lead being an FTE. My health is generally good, so no need for me to see my doctor except in passing. I don't need Cialis or Viagra -- I already wake up in enough pain, and I don't need to add blue balls to the mix. |
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| sin4fun |
Quote: Originally posted by mcbutton1970
At least I can say I have one ... I DREAD to hear what you really have ... :D
For those that think I'm bashing a female, I'm not.
And just so you know, I can already hit the top of my wife's vaginal cavity rather easily -- anything more than that, I'll absolutely wreck her (she wears petite sizes, if that gives you any idea). |
:puzzld:
Hmmmmm is the anger in my voice or the words I use? |
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| mcbutton1970 |
Quote: Originally posted by sin4fun
:puzzld:
Hmmmmm is the anger in my voice or the words I use? |
Don't make me call you out in a public forum. You and I both know I dropped an iggy in my previous post to you. Leave it at that. |
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| mcbutton1970 |
Quote: Originally posted by sin4fun
Hmmmmm is the anger in my voice or the words I use? |
Besides, you just don't make a convincing female, and you're too aggressive. |
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| sin4fun |
Quote: Originally posted by mcbutton1970
Besides, you just don't make a convincing female, and you're too aggressive. |
LMFAO-
So, do please explain the mult-a-cator process- I may be a mult, but who's mult is the truer/est question. |
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| mcbutton1970 |
Quote: Originally posted by sin4fun
LMFAO-
So, do please explain the mult-a-cator process- I may be a mult, but who's mult is the truer/est question. |
I have no identity issues myself. I am me (with a little myself and I thrown in but one username just the same). At least you're somewhat smarter with a mult than Chowder. Stick with your Supporter nick. It suits you better. |
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| mcbutton1970 |
Quote: Originally posted by RoadBoy
Holy shit Mcb |
What? He knows he's been made. Read back and see if you catch the iggy on him. He's running out of material, especially when he wants me to prove the mult. :D |
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| mcbutton1970 |
Quote: Originally posted by sin4fun
Do me a favor and clean up the iggy? |
Done. Feel free to PM me if you feel the cleansing wasn't sufficient enough. |
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| RoadBoy |
Funny it was talking about U Kenny |
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