Attract women like Bagger
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Beth O or Elisa Jordana???

Discussion in 'Howard Stern' started by ELMACO-510, May 28, 2012.

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Who would you bang first - Beth O or Elisa Jordana?

Poll closed Jun 11, 2012.
Beth O 15 vote(s) 41.7%
Elisa Jordana 21 vote(s) 58.3%
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  1. Head Censor Full Member

    Boy, that's a tough one. On the one hand, the only thing less sexy than being flat-chested is having implants. Not exactly sure where Beth is on that back and forth journey this week.

    On the other hand, Elisa or Alissa or whatever the fuck her name is, has the dubious distinction of being a fat chick who's in the midst of 15 minutes of relative non-obesity. God bless her, she's striking while the iron's hot and making the most of her short window of opportunity, but in the long term, it won't last and even in the short term, I bet there are already some issues when the clothes come off and the lights are left on a little too high.

    Gotta go with Beth.
  2. max_headroom Full Member

    I'm going to go against the grain here and say Elisa. Beth is beautiful but at 6' she's too tall for me.
  3. Head Censor Full Member

    There's another major consideration that argues in favor of banging Beth. Consider that Alyssa has had Benji's fat, disgusting, clammy, blotchy, herpes ridden body sweating and spewing rank bodily fluids of various origins all over her on multiple occasions. And what other pathogens and parasites might be lurking in that hovel he calls an apartment? I'm not sure I'd be able to get beyond that mentally.

    Beth, on the other hand, has likely never exchanged so much as a germ with Howard. I'm sure Howie dips his entire body in Purell both before and after their "love making" sessions. Add to that the religious condom use, the moratorium on kissing and the fact that the entire act of sexual intercourse between the two only last about 90 seconds and you can be pretty certain that you won't walk away from the experience with any unsavory diseases.
    DrugDealer and ELMACO-510 like this.
  4. SalsMasterShake Full Member

    That's a good point (regarding BethO). It kinda reminds me of that line in Scarface where Pacino tells Michelle Pfieffer she has a look on her face like she hasn't been f*cked in years!

    I prefer brunettes to blondes (generally), but in this case, I'd have to go with the Amaaaaaaazing One as well.
  5. Head Censor Full Member

    Yeah, usually it's pretty easy for me to cast my vote in "the anybody but Beth" category. It may have something to do with my aversion to banging chicks with feet bigger than mine. In this case, however, I'd be marching my size 13s right over to Chimney Manor.
    SalsMasterShake likes this.
  6. FlatTimmy Full Member

    This is a tough one. If it comes down to "Would you rather follow Howard or Benjy", I'd go with Beth. But if neither of them ever dated their respective mates, it's tougher. I never got much of a sex vibe off Beth. She's very pretty, of course; just not sexy. Benjy's chick is crazy. But not in a "I'm gonna fuck your brains out" way. It's more in the "annoying, won't shut up" way. Plus I don't think she's that sexual either. I guess it's Beth over Benjy's girl. Even if Beth isn't into it, she puts out for Howard. I don't think Benjy gets much off his chick.
  7. Groucho Marx Full Member

    I can't believe you make this thread and don't provide pics yourself. Fuck your lazy bullshit.
    stoptalkingrq and DrugDealer like this.
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  8. deezz Full Member

    Beth O gets the dick 9/10. Elisa has no ass and is an annoying attention whore.
  9. Head Censor Full Member

    Agreed. I get the feeling that Uhleesa is lacking tone in a major way.
  10. mega shmega Full Member

    shitty poll with no comparison pics
    hydra likes this.
  11. AntZ Full Member

    They are both superficial attention whores.

    But at least Elisa is natural!

    Sure she has flaws and sounds like an annoying cross between Octomom and a young Barbra Streisand.

    But at least she has a brain with the ability to explain herself well and doesn't need to giggle and talk with her hands like a 13 y.o.

    So what would you need to bang them?

    Beth: Millions of dollars to satisfy her gold digging demands. Duct-tape to cover that annoying shrill that comes from her mouth. And some binding to restrain those flailing catchers mitt hands of hers. Only then you can try to get started.

    Elisa: You don't need much money or even need to look good. Just a set of ear plugs to muffle her voice and you're ready to go to town! :thumbup:
    DICKWAD likes this.
  12. DrugDealer Full Member

  13. DrugDealer Full Member

    I would pick Elisa I love Brunettes :X3::thumbup::showoff:
    DICKWAD, Eric The Liar and judsy like this.
  14. boeing46 Full Member

    I know this is a hypothetical but really people non of us is getting either of them. OK I choose Elisa.
    DICKWAD, DrugDealer and judsy like this.
  15. CaptBill Full Member

    Let's see a choice between something Benji might have had or something an arab might have had. Which could be worse? I think Benji would be cleaner, but not by much. I think neither for me.
    DICKWAD likes this.
  16. MFACTOR Full Member

    In honor of the triple crown season I'm going with Beth.
    DICKWAD and SalsMasterShake like this.
  17. DrugDealer Full Member

    :nah::showoff:
  18. Eric The Liar Full Member

  19. massive1

    massive1 Account On Hold

    at least put up a decent pic..what a goof
  20. Jerry O'Connell Full Member

  21. Dean Wormer Full Member

    Eliza hands down. Beth has been fouled.
  22. Eric The Liar Full Member

    I think Elisa is a 10.

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