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How Will They Die?

Discussion in 'Howard Stern' started by horizonrusted, Jan 31, 2013.

  1. horizonrusted Full Member

    Here's my take:
    Sal will die falling off another stage & break his neck marking his final tribute to Artie's father.
    Richard & Benjy will be the old guys who live until their 90s & attend the Stern show tributes, sitting in their own piss & shit & laugh about how they used to do that as a gag.
    Artie, tick-tock.
    Fred will die on the last day of the last show. He'll have a massive heartattack while sitting in his chair & not until the end of the show, when Howard complains about the lack of sounds effects will everyone realize that Fred has been dead for the last 3 hours.
    Ralph. Who cares, so long as it's sometime soon.
    Robin will board a plane to Cacaquitoo in Machapoopoo to see some witch doctor & will never be heard from again.
    Howard, will die at his home, alone, & not until Beth returns from her 7 day tour of the Carribean will his body be found.
    The End.
    Texaco likes this.
  2. Artie'sLiver

    Artie'sLiver VIP: Worlds Greatest ETM Expert

    Ralph will die of a ruptured sphincter and colon.
    Koolaider and Texaco like this.
  3. bubbacr617 Full Member

    Sal- Lung Cancer
    Richard- Drinking incident. (i.e. falling and hitting his head...)
    Benjy- Murdered in downtown Manhatten for acting up in public one too many times
    Fred- Old age
    Ralph- Old age (he has no worries=no stress)
    Robin- Some kind of cancer aquired from one of those hair-brained therapies
    Howard- Heart Attack from stress
    Gary- Lung Cancer
    Ronnie- Cirrhosis
    Will- Knifed at an Eagles game
    Lisa G- Alone, eaten by her cats...
    and because of their wonderful dieting habits:
    J.D.- Heart Attack
    Jason- Heart Attack
    John- Heart Attack
    Tim- Heart Attack

    As for Artie: WGAS, WGAF. He's no longer associated with THHS.
    Head Censor and Texaco like this.
  4. bubbacr617 Full Member

    Sal will die falling off another stage & break his neck marking his final tribute to Artie's father.
    :jj:
    Fred will die on the last day of the last show. He'll have a massive heartattack while sitting in his chair & not until the end of the show, when Howard complains about the lack of sounds effects will everyone realize that Fred has been dead for the last 3 hours.
    :jj::jj:
    Robin will board a plane to Cacaquitoo in Machapoopoo to see some witch doctor & will never be heard from again.
    :jj::jj::jj:
    Texaco likes this.
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  5. Anarchist86ed Full Member

    Whack packers.

    ETM will fall asleep in his power chair and hit the button to go forward. His battery finally dies as he enters a forested area during turkey hunting season.

    High pitch Eric will die from organ failure because his diet was mostly Mcdonald's.

    Elliot Often died during Autoerotic asphyxiation.

    Debbie the pet psycho died in her room at the funny farm she was committed to. Her beloved pet rats disposed of the corpse.

    Wendy the retard never died. It turns out they invented a cure to retardation and aging on the same day. She was the only test subject.

    Riley Martin started a cult. He was the only member. One day he went deep into a forest. Witnesses reported seeing a brightly lit saucer shaped object over the forest. Riley was never heard from again.

    Jeff the drunk died of alcohol poisoning in combination with falling out of a moving vehicle traveling in excess of 100MPH.
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  6. horizonrusted Full Member

    If Sal does die of lung cancer, I predict he will be bald with an uneven tan & stained teeth.
    If JD dies from anything, it's going to be some kind of Siskel-cancer from watching too much tv.
    As for Gary Dell'Abate, one week he entered a fast food restaurant. Just ahead of him, two men got into an argument. One of them pulled a knife. Gary who was always best at deflecting anger back on to himself tried to break it up. He was stabbed in the throat. He died almost instantly.
    John Hein died after eating a bad hamburger at McDonald's. Ironically, the virus that killed him was sensitive to pickles & would have died on the bun had he just ordered a hamburger like a normal person. He lived long enough to sue McD's. It was the last $1million he would ever make.
    Texaco likes this.
  7. Benji-Raped to death on a craigslist meet up gone wrong
    Sal-prostate cancer
    Richard-tractor accident in Kansas
    Robin-heart attack
    Fred-Natural causes-old age
    Jon Hein- Diabetes obesity
    Gary-weather disaster as he tries to protect his house
    Ralph-Suffocates in his Broni costume at geek convention
    JD-know one knows- he just fades away and is never heard from
    Jason Kaplan-heart attack while jerking to his phone in the shower
    Will- Cancer
    Howard-stroke- despite all his healthly living she suffers a stroke- at just mild speech problems which lead to many jokes about how the big mouth is now just like Dick Clark-leads him to hide away- he has a second stoke more issues, Beth leaves when she gets tired of wiping his ass-he is alone and comitts suicide
    Texaco and Gindaloonatic like this.
  8. Redneck Ron Full Member

    Asteroid strike off the Carolina Coast. Most life on the planet will be wiped out. Abe Vigoda will be the only survivor.
  9. Mama-looka Full Member

    First of all, Sal is going to be murdered by his wife's boyfriend.
    Richard is going to die of a staph infection due to his unsanitary lifestyle.
    Artie will OD.
    JD will commit suicide.
    Fred will get into a loud screaming match in a restaurant with a fat, short, bald guy who turns out to be in the mafia.
    Robin will die alone in her mansion, not be discovered for weeks, and be partially eaten by her cats.
    After Beth and his next two wives divorce him, Howard will be offed by his Filipino caregiver/wife.
    Vidiot and Texaco like this.
  10. horizonrusted Full Member

    BULLSHIT! Because you know if Sal dies of prostate cancer that Richard's gonna die of penile cancer & vice versa!
  11. Gindaloonatic Full Member

    Gary-Lip cancer
    Sal-Pouch MRSA
  12. horizonrusted Full Member

    First of all, go back to the end of the line until you can think of an appropriately horrific death for Ralph.
    Secondly, Artie is always & indelibly linked to THSS.
  13. Gindaloonatic Full Member

    Killed by a flying trampoline :jj2:
    bemaniac likes this.
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  14. Koolaider Full Member

    Howard - That disease people get from cat scratches
    Robin - That disease black people get
    Fred - Killed by the CIA during a standoff
    Benjy - Who cares?
    Gary - Naturally. His lips protect him from all natural harm
    Ronnie - Ruptured colon
    Ralph - AIDS
    Eric the Midget - Mistaken for a coyote; shot
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  15. Mama-looka Full Member

    ...or his head spontaneously explodes...
  16. bubbacr617 Full Member

    Wow...talk about life imitating art. I forgot to put him on my list!! :blush:
  17. bubbacr617 Full Member

    I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve.
    Jesus, does anyone?

    I won't cry, I won't cry, no, I won't shed a tear. Just as long as you stand, stand by me...
  18. bubbacr617 Full Member

    OK, I've thought about Ralph:
    Dies from dog attack from rescue dogs while staying at Sam Simons house.

    I still refuse to do Artie. Then you have to do Jackie, John, KC, Tom...the list is never ending of ex-employees.
  19. bubbacr617 Full Member

    Don't you mean wearwolf?
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