Just checked my mailbox

Got a letter that was clearly my address, but someone elses name. I opened it.



It's from Boone, North Carolina. I know 20 bucks in Boone is like 500 in New York. I looked up the guys name on the web and didn't find anything. Any ideas on how I can find the person or should I just buy beer for me on Peggy and Gurry?

Give it back to the post man.The bad karma isn't worth the twenty.Or give the twenty to the animal shelter.

Bad karma is worth like 45 bucks at least

Return to sender. You should be ashamed for even thinking about keeping 20.

Alright case closed. My first thought was to find my neighbor. I opened the letter so I gotta get an envelope and stamp and spend energy and time to return it. I will send it back.

Fuck that shit, now that you opened it you are going to have to put it in a new envelope and waste a stamp. If you are going to mail it back then send them back only $15 to cover your time and out of pocket expenses.

OMG! You posted that while I was typing the same thing. Are we like best friends now?

You're doing the right thing. Maybe include a letter explaining what happened. You may just renew their faith in humanity. Im sure they will brag about you to all the people at their church meeting.

Fuck that. You saved this person from buying beer and doing something stupid like drinking and driving or procreating. You are saving the world from a drunken Boonite.

CB is my Pillar of morality. I'll see what he has to say.

Umm , like maybe we can just have an awkward handshake where one of us goes for a hug and it's cool but a little strange.

I fucking love that movie.

I'm cool with that.

Send it all back. I have a feeling 5 dollars will not make or break you.

It's going back with a note explaining.

I do have to rearrange my entire Sunday schedule


6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blow job
6:30 Massive, satisfying sh*t while reading the sports section
7:00 Breakfast; steak and eggs, coffee, toast. All cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot
7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Several beers en route to the airport
9:15 Flight in personal Learjet
9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club; blow job en route
9:45 Play front nine; 2 under par
11:45 Lunch; steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
12:15 Blow job
12:30 Play back nine; 4 under par
14:15 Limo back to airport; STOP AT KINKOS TO SEND BIRTHDAY CARD AND 20 BUCKS BACK TO BOONE, NC.
14:30 Fly to Bahamas
15:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with nude, all-female crew who all bend over a lot
16:30 Land world record Marlin (1234 lbs) on light tackle
17:00 Fly home; massage and hand job by naked Elle MacPherson
18:45 Shit, shower, and shave
19:00 Watch Naked News
19:30 Dinner; lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits
21:30 Sex with three women, all of whom have lesbian tendencies
23:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
23:30 Night-cap blow job
23:45 In bed, alone
23:50 A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room
23:51 Laugh yourself to sleep

You can save 45 minutes if you quit giving blow jobs.

Sorry Viper. It was just too easy.

Hilarious

Even an asshole would return that $20.
Tell me the name or names you are trying to locate. I can find ANYBODY!

Haywood Jablome... It's a common name. It's Mike and a popular last name.

You can buy a bear for $20 in NYC?!!?!